So often during this recovery process, I have been told by others—those who have been targeted by sociopaths and those who have not—that it does not matter why the sociopath did what he did. Focus on you, they said. Figure out why you were vulnerable and what kind of behavior patterns you need to change. It does not matter why the sociopath lied to/cheated on/manipulated you, they said. Focus on YOU! Although they meant well, their words did not help me.
It is absolutely important and necessary to be introspective and learn everything we can about ourselves as we try to crawl our way out of the darkness. However, that kind of self-discovery can and should wait. Before that (and along with it), it is necessary to make sense out of what has happened to us so that we can build a foundation for healing. And for many of us, immediately after we realize we have been deceived and betrayed, the burning thought in our minds is…WHY??? Why did the sociopaths lie so much? Why did they work so hard to convince us that they loved us, only to discard us so callously? Why did they spend so much time with us, if they never, ever cared for us? Why did they keep things going with us as they pursued other 'relationships'? Why did they suddenly turn into completely different people? Why do they make us feel like we are going crazy? And the list goes on and on…
We can find the answers to these WHY questions by understanding how, exactly, sociopaths operate. By 'understanding,' I do not mean that we can or should emotionally understand their behavior or excuse it in ANY way. I mean that we can and should intellectually understand their behavior because, by doing so, we find new wisdom and we take back our power! Below, I summarize the main concepts I learned about the sociopathic mind from various experts in the field:
Sociopathy lies on a spectrum
Sociopaths are not easily identified. In fact, it can be exceptionally difficult to determine if someone is a sociopath. Even professionals are easily fooled, and many counselors have a poor understanding of personality disorders in general. In addition, some people exhibit more sociopathic traits than others, which is why sociopathy lies on a spectrum. Some sociopathic people are very obviously egotistical, for example; others are much more covert in their narcissism. That is just one example of the differences. Perhaps this is why several terms have been used to describe people who exhibit abnormal personality traits, including sociopath, psychopath, and narcissist. To further add to the confusion, psychologists, therapists, and researchers do not agree on which terms should be used or how they should be defined. Despite this controversy, the fact remains that a person who exhibits any number of sociopathic traits is toxic and should be avoided.
Sociopaths lack a conscience
Sociopaths know the intellectual difference between right and wrong. They understand society's expectations. They understand what moral behavior is supposed to look like. They even understand that actions have consequences. The problem is, they do not care. They do not feel remorse or guilt. They have no inner compass to guide them, and so they do exactly what they want at any given moment. This lack of conscience means that it does not matter to them if they trample on the rights, feelings, or safety of others. It means that they have no limits and are therefore capable of anything; it is a recipe for endless cruelty and depravity.
Sociopaths feel a limited range of human emotions
Sociopaths are plagued by emotional abnormalities, making them empty shells. They experience 'shallow' feelings, which means that virtually all of their emotions are fleeting, if they have them at all. They seem to feel rage and envy in full force, which fuels aggressive behavior in many of them. However, any rages they display are surprisingly short-lived.
Because of this defect, sociopaths are unable to truly connect with other people. They are unable to have true empathy for others, they are incapable of compassion, and they do not suffer, because they cannot relate to emotional pain. They live a life devoid of true pleasure, unable to enjoy a sunset or the company of an animal or another person. They only get temporary, meaningless thrills out of things like sex or food or deceiving and manipulating others. Most ominously, this emotional deficiency means that they are unable to love. It also means that they must spend their entire lives watching others and learning to imitate behaviors that they are unable to engage in naturally; in this way, they become demented chameleons.
Their emptiness also makes them chronically bored. The boredom is almost painful for them, and they will do anything to alleviate it. This contributes to their tendency to act impulsively and recklessly; for instance, it is very common for psychopaths to become addicted to alcohol, sex, and drugs. And ultimately, they will do anything and everything to get rid of their boredom because, having no conscience and no empathy, they do not care who gets hurt in the process.
Sociopaths view everything in life—including relationships—as games to be won
Sociopaths have an insatiable need to win. This desire to win is so strong that they sometimes will take themselves down in the process of becoming the 'winner.' Because they are unable to build real relationships, they view their interactions with others as games. Other people are simply pawns to be played. And because they have no conscience, they make up their own unethical, ever-changing rules for those 'games.' They use tactics like mirroring, deception, projection, gaslighting, pity plays, and other forms of emotional and physical abuse to idealize, manipulate, confuse, and intimidate others, all in the name of 'winning.'
Sociopaths live to exploit others
The ultimate purpose of every sociopath's life is to do whatever it takes to get what he or she wants at that moment. Since sociopaths do not understand love, they view other people as objects to be obtained, used, and then discarded. And so in all their interactions with others, they follow a particular pattern—idealize, devalue, and discard—over and over and over again. They are constantly scoping out potential targets and assessing them as sources of supply. Their desires change unexpectedly and abruptly; at any given moment, they might want money, or a place to live, or sex, or a cloak of normalcy, or a short-term thrill.
They often throw people away suddenly and brutally, ignore them for days, months, or even years, and then contact them again as if no time has passed and all is well. They find it entertaining to lure targets back into their games, if it serves their purposes. Nothing stops them from pursuing whatever they want in any way they can.
Sociopaths provide 'tells' about who they really are
Sociopathic tells are yet another manipulation tactic sociopaths use to exploit others. They specialize in playing mind games with others, and tells are an effective way in which to confuse their targets. It is only after the abuse that survivors begin to see the truth behind these tells.
They come in three forms: projections on to others, truthful remarks, and statements that are the exact opposite of the truth.
Projection
When sociopaths project, they are giving their targets camouflaged clues. They talk about how other people cheat or lie or hurt others, as if they abhor such behavior, when in fact they are describing themselves. And during the devalue phase of their 'relationships,' they often project this negativity on to their targets, in an effort to make their victims doubt themselves. It also has the effect of making targets feel as if they are going crazy.
The Truth
Sociopaths tell their targets exactly who they are, but they do it in such a way that it is impossible for victims to understand the consequences of the horrible statements. Targets might hear comments like, 'You shouldn't be with me' or 'I've never had a good relationship' or 'I wanted to hurt someone.' Sociopaths turn these declarations into pity plays and feel secretly justified in exploiting victims when they do not realize the statements are real.
The Opposite of the Truth
Sociopaths convince their targets that they will never lie or cheat and that they love them so much. They also promise that they will never do anything to hurt their victims. They regularly mislead targets by making claims that are precisely the opposite of the truth.
Sociopaths believe they are superior beings
Sociopaths see nothing wrong with using people and then throwing them away. They feel completely justified in lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating others. In fact, not only do they see nothing wrong with their behavior, they actually believe that they are incredibly superior to other people! Every time they are able to con their targets, they view that as evidence of the targets' weakness. And, they do not suffer from low self-esteem or insecurities (although they often pretend to 'feel' that way in order to manipulate others). On the contrary, they are egotistical and arrogant. And this makes it impossible for them to benefit from therapy, and it makes it impossible for them to change. Why should they change, when they believe they are already better than everyone else? This, I believe, is the main reason why there is no cure for sociopathy.
Although it is very difficult to wrap our brains around such a foreign and disturbing way of looking at the world, doing so can help us protect ourselves. I have discovered that all I have learned about sociopathic behavior has helped me put the pieces together of a terrible puzzle, and although it is horrific to see the completed picture, it has also empowered me and enabled me to trust in the truth of my own experience. I hope that it will do the same for you. It is okay to ask why!
For further reading on the topic, please follow this link:
https://www.psychopathfree.com/bookshelf.php?tabid=125
This article is included in the book The Survivor's Quest, available through Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Survivors-Quest-Recovery-After-Encountering-ebook/dp/B00MOTO00Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1408138504&sr=8-2&keywords=the+survivor's+quest
NOTE: Want to attract more women? Then you need to WATCH THIS VIDEO. It shows you how you can sleep with 6+ girls a week using stealth seduction methods.
Video games can get real boring when you're blasting through the enemy and overcoming challenges as if you have god mode enabled. Raise the difficulty, push yourself to overcome greater challenges, perform greater feats, do things the majority of gamers can only wish to do.
So often during this recovery process, I have been told by others—those who have been targeted by sociopaths and those who have not—that it does not matter why the sociopath did what he did. Focus on you, they said. Figure out why you were vulnerable and what kind of behavior patterns you need to change. It does not matter why the sociopath lied to/cheated on/manipulated you, they said. Focus on YOU! Although they meant well, their words did not help me.
It is absolutely important and necessary to be introspective and learn everything we can about ourselves as we try to crawl our way out of the darkness. However, that kind of self-discovery can and should wait. Before that (and along with it), it is necessary to make sense out of what has happened to us so that we can build a foundation for healing. And for many of us, immediately after we realize we have been deceived and betrayed, the burning thought in our minds is…WHY??? Why did the sociopaths lie so much? Why did they work so hard to convince us that they loved us, only to discard us so callously? Why did they spend so much time with us, if they never, ever cared for us? Why did they keep things going with us as they pursued other 'relationships'? Why did they suddenly turn into completely different people? Why do they make us feel like we are going crazy? And the list goes on and on…
We can find the answers to these WHY questions by understanding how, exactly, sociopaths operate. By 'understanding,' I do not mean that we can or should emotionally understand their behavior or excuse it in ANY way. I mean that we can and should intellectually understand their behavior because, by doing so, we find new wisdom and we take back our power! Below, I summarize the main concepts I learned about the sociopathic mind from various experts in the field:
Sociopathy lies on a spectrum
Sociopaths are not easily identified. In fact, it can be exceptionally difficult to determine if someone is a sociopath. Even professionals are easily fooled, and many counselors have a poor understanding of personality disorders in general. In addition, some people exhibit more sociopathic traits than others, which is why sociopathy lies on a spectrum. Some sociopathic people are very obviously egotistical, for example; others are much more covert in their narcissism. That is just one example of the differences. Perhaps this is why several terms have been used to describe people who exhibit abnormal personality traits, including sociopath, psychopath, and narcissist. To further add to the confusion, psychologists, therapists, and researchers do not agree on which terms should be used or how they should be defined. Despite this controversy, the fact remains that a person who exhibits any number of sociopathic traits is toxic and should be avoided.
Sociopaths lack a conscience
Sociopaths know the intellectual difference between right and wrong. They understand society's expectations. They understand what moral behavior is supposed to look like. They even understand that actions have consequences. The problem is, they do not care. They do not feel remorse or guilt. They have no inner compass to guide them, and so they do exactly what they want at any given moment. This lack of conscience means that it does not matter to them if they trample on the rights, feelings, or safety of others. It means that they have no limits and are therefore capable of anything; it is a recipe for endless cruelty and depravity.
Sociopaths feel a limited range of human emotions
Sociopaths are plagued by emotional abnormalities, making them empty shells. They experience 'shallow' feelings, which means that virtually all of their emotions are fleeting, if they have them at all. They seem to feel rage and envy in full force, which fuels aggressive behavior in many of them. However, any rages they display are surprisingly short-lived.
Because of this defect, sociopaths are unable to truly connect with other people. They are unable to have true empathy for others, they are incapable of compassion, and they do not suffer, because they cannot relate to emotional pain. They live a life devoid of true pleasure, unable to enjoy a sunset or the company of an animal or another person. They only get temporary, meaningless thrills out of things like sex or food or deceiving and manipulating others. Most ominously, this emotional deficiency means that they are unable to love. It also means that they must spend their entire lives watching others and learning to imitate behaviors that they are unable to engage in naturally; in this way, they become demented chameleons.
Their emptiness also makes them chronically bored. The boredom is almost painful for them, and they will do anything to alleviate it. This contributes to their tendency to act impulsively and recklessly; for instance, it is very common for psychopaths to become addicted to alcohol, sex, and drugs. And ultimately, they will do anything and everything to get rid of their boredom because, having no conscience and no empathy, they do not care who gets hurt in the process.
Sociopaths view everything in life—including relationships—as games to be won
Sociopaths have an insatiable need to win. This desire to win is so strong that they sometimes will take themselves down in the process of becoming the 'winner.' Because they are unable to build real relationships, they view their interactions with others as games. Other people are simply pawns to be played. And because they have no conscience, they make up their own unethical, ever-changing rules for those 'games.' They use tactics like mirroring, deception, projection, gaslighting, pity plays, and other forms of emotional and physical abuse to idealize, manipulate, confuse, and intimidate others, all in the name of 'winning.'
Sociopaths live to exploit others
The ultimate purpose of every sociopath's life is to do whatever it takes to get what he or she wants at that moment. Since sociopaths do not understand love, they view other people as objects to be obtained, used, and then discarded. And so in all their interactions with others, they follow a particular pattern—idealize, devalue, and discard—over and over and over again. They are constantly scoping out potential targets and assessing them as sources of supply. Their desires change unexpectedly and abruptly; at any given moment, they might want money, or a place to live, or sex, or a cloak of normalcy, or a short-term thrill.
They often throw people away suddenly and brutally, ignore them for days, months, or even years, and then contact them again as if no time has passed and all is well. They find it entertaining to lure targets back into their games, if it serves their purposes. Nothing stops them from pursuing whatever they want in any way they can.
Sociopaths provide 'tells' about who they really are
Sociopathic tells are yet another manipulation tactic sociopaths use to exploit others. They specialize in playing mind games with others, and tells are an effective way in which to confuse their targets. It is only after the abuse that survivors begin to see the truth behind these tells.
They come in three forms: projections on to others, truthful remarks, and statements that are the exact opposite of the truth.
Projection
When sociopaths project, they are giving their targets camouflaged clues. They talk about how other people cheat or lie or hurt others, as if they abhor such behavior, when in fact they are describing themselves. And during the devalue phase of their 'relationships,' they often project this negativity on to their targets, in an effort to make their victims doubt themselves. It also has the effect of making targets feel as if they are going crazy.
The Truth
Sociopaths tell their targets exactly who they are, but they do it in such a way that it is impossible for victims to understand the consequences of the horrible statements. Targets might hear comments like, 'You shouldn't be with me' or 'I've never had a good relationship' or 'I wanted to hurt someone.' Sociopaths turn these declarations into pity plays and feel secretly justified in exploiting victims when they do not realize the statements are real.
The Opposite of the Truth
Sociopaths convince their targets that they will never lie or cheat and that they love them so much. They also promise that they will never do anything to hurt their victims. They regularly mislead targets by making claims that are precisely the opposite of the truth.
Sociopaths believe they are superior beings
Sociopaths see nothing wrong with using people and then throwing them away. They feel completely justified in lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating others. In fact, not only do they see nothing wrong with their behavior, they actually believe that they are incredibly superior to other people! Every time they are able to con their targets, they view that as evidence of the targets' weakness. And, they do not suffer from low self-esteem or insecurities (although they often pretend to 'feel' that way in order to manipulate others). On the contrary, they are egotistical and arrogant. And this makes it impossible for them to benefit from therapy, and it makes it impossible for them to change. Why should they change, when they believe they are already better than everyone else? This, I believe, is the main reason why there is no cure for sociopathy.
Although it is very difficult to wrap our brains around such a foreign and disturbing way of looking at the world, doing so can help us protect ourselves. I have discovered that all I have learned about sociopathic behavior has helped me put the pieces together of a terrible puzzle, and although it is horrific to see the completed picture, it has also empowered me and enabled me to trust in the truth of my own experience. I hope that it will do the same for you. It is okay to ask why!
For further reading on the topic, please follow this link:
https://www.psychopathfree.com/bookshelf.php?tabid=125
This article is included in the book The Survivor's Quest, available through Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Survivors-Quest-Recovery-After-Encountering-ebook/dp/B00MOTO00Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1408138504&sr=8-2&keywords=the+survivor's+quest
NOTE: Want to attract more women? Then you need to WATCH THIS VIDEO. It shows you how you can sleep with 6+ girls a week using stealth seduction methods.
Video games can get real boring when you're blasting through the enemy and overcoming challenges as if you have god mode enabled. Raise the difficulty, push yourself to overcome greater challenges, perform greater feats, do things the majority of gamers can only wish to do.
Let me ask you something… Why do women cheat?
Why do you think they go out of their way to sleep with another guy when they're already in a relationship with you?
Well there's actually no simple answer.
Jedi academy game cheats. In fact, it's a bunch of things that cause cheating girlfriends to do this over a lengthy period of time.
Why Do Games Get Boring When I Cheat Sheet
Today I'm going to let you in the woman's mindset when it comes to cheating and uncover why she's actually doing it… and how to stop it.
So here goes…
Once the platforms give, the laser will fire resulting in instant death. Bird jump between them to the top of the next platform, then jump from platform to platform and step through the first doorway. As time grows short, the platforms will give way; you must be fast. https://krishueroughme1977.mystrikingly.com/blog/ninja-turtles-nes-game-cheats. You will see two red pipes with a narrow gap between them.
How to tell if she's cheating
These aren't sure fire 'set in stone' indicators that she's cheating on you…. BUT they are a pretty decent indicator of something not being quite right in a relationship, so you should look into it further.
https://krishueroughme1977.mystrikingly.com/blog/lsat-logic-games-cheat-sheet. Justify the Conclusion Questions4.
- Very distant with communication – When you text her, does she take hours to reply? I'm talking several hours. It's understandable if she's busy and can't text you back for an hour or so, but it shouldn't be several hours. Also when you call, does she pickup or does it go straight to voicemail?
- Appears as though she's hiding something – When you're with her and she gets a text or call, does she take her phone somewhere else… even hide the phone from your view?
- Cancels on your plans – When you both have plans for going out, does she cancel last minute and has she done so on many occasions?
What is considered 'cheating'?
Ok, so let's assume that we're all looking at what would be viewed as a 'normal' relationship. Maximum archery the game cheats. I would say that anything she does with a guy on a physical level could be considered cheating… so even something as simple as kissing.
But that really does depend on what you're like as a guy, you might think that kissing is ok but full blown sex is definitely cheating.
The 7 reasons why she's cheating
Now we know what cheating is, here's exactly why she's doing it and what you MUST do about it to stop it from happening.
- You're not the same guy that first attracted her – When you first met, everything was new and exciting for both of you. But over time as you become more comfortable with each other, certain things become a bit stale. You need to remember what it was that she loved about your personality in the beginning and be 'that' guy again.
- You suck in bed – Bro, you seriously need to work on your bedroom skills. Learn how to make her orgasm, read up on some foreplay tips and become the bedroom ninja that she's looking for. If you aren't satisfying her, then she'll get bored REALLY fast.
- She needs more excitement – If you're sitting at home every night with her, this will get extremely boring. You need to plan some date ideas that will surprise her, that you'll both enjoy. This will ensure that she doesn't get bored and actually looks forward to seeing you. But it could also mean you're dating a dating a damaged girl.
- You're far too insecure – Everyone has some insecurities, but if those insecurities are getting you down and you actually have more than her, this can be a huge turnoff for her. Women like strong, confident and secure men… you need to be that man.
Why Do Games Get Boring When I Cheated
- You're too negative – Negativity is a drain on energy for both you and her, if you're always negative around her she will anchor these bad feelings and begin to dislike you. So stop being such a douche and be more positive bro.
- She's feeling undervalued – Girls need attention from their man, if they feel as though you're not giving them enough attention they will look for it elsewhere. Now you don't need to smother her, but you do need to keep things spontaneous so that she can see that you care.
- To get you back for cheating on her – If you cheated on her before, then there's a chance that she's looking to get you back. Women can be spiteful, so this will always be a possibility.
What to do next
Take note of the signs your girlfriend doesn't respect you, this will always be step 1 to her cheating if you allow it to continue.
So that's why women cheat dude. If you want to stop it from happening, then you need do the opposite of what's turning her off, it won't be easy and it will take time, that's also if you want to stick around with your 'cheating' girlfriend.
On the other hand, you need to avoid getting into any type of relationship with a slutty woman that sleeps around. Here's how to tell if she's a slut before making her your lady.
You should also read:
